9/16 NICU Day 24

 This morning I thought I’d be starting this post with a statement similar to the last few days. When I first walked in to Olivia’s new room, the first thing I noticed, other than the size, was the big sunflower picture. 


I have always loved sunflowers (I took pictures of some to start decorating Olivia’s room at home..and used one to “decorate” this blog). I guess I just felt this was a good omen. Olivia was resting peacefully and everything seemed really good. 

The nurse mentioned that Olivia’s heart rate had been elevated throughout the night and early morning. She also mentioned Olivia had seemed a little warm to the touch. She didn’t have a fever but just wanted to make me aware that the team may discuss it during rounds. 

Well discuss they did. The doctor felt Oliva may need a blood transfusion due to low blood counts and her heart rate (a symptom sometimes related to low blood counts). A blood transfusion had been mentioned to Kevin and I before (I signed a consent for it on Olivia’s birthday) and we were informed then, as I was informed today, that it is very common in preemies. The doctor was amazed Olivia HADN’T had a transfusion yet saying “she just isn’t a typical preemie. It’s incredible!”. 

Although her surprise & amazement, as well as this typical treatment, should not have phased me, I did feel emotional when relaying the information to Kevin. I felt sad thinking of Olivia having to go through another IV placement and needing more labs drawn. Kevin reminded me that, again, we have so much to be thankful for...the doctors didn’t think it was an infection or something worse or abnormal. We needed to focus on the good and not worry. 

Olivia is still slowing growing, she’s still on her bubble CPAP with out having difficulties, and she was downgraded (a good thing in the medical world) to a new area of NICU. In fact, when Kevin went to visit in the evening, he said the transfusion was going fine. Her heart rate was already heading back to normal. He said she looked very content and comfortable. Kevin was able to spend almost four hours with her after he got off work. I’m sure she knows…but her dad is absolutely wonderful :) 

I am thankful. And when thinking and reading back through the days I do know I have reasons to be. Olivia has been atypical…she’s absolutely a miracle. But today, it weighed so heavy on me thinking of this whole situation-the question of “why me?”. I don’t believe I’ll ever know the answer…it doesn’t feel fair. When I start thinking ‘why me’ I get jealous, angry, sad, frustrated…and my heart just aches. It’s still difficult tonight…but I am reminded of my post from 9/4 and the truth I felt and wrote regarding our devotional on Psalm 88.

I have faith God is in control. I know He is working all things according to His plan.  I know He knows the desires of my heart and hears my prayers. He is here with me in this and I need to lean on Him.

‘We pour out constant worship when we feel constant sorrow…we continue to walk by faith when we cannot see…’


Popular posts from this blog

Last Days of Summer

Image
Being in North Carolina provides some decently warm days well into the end of September and even part of October. We have been lucky enough to soak in a ton of sun during these last summer days. We started September off with an impromptu trip to the beach-just the three of us. It was so much fun being able to just pick up and leave. It wasn't long ago that we were tethered to oxygen lines and equipment.    We also spent many days at the local "water park" beating the heat and hanging out with her older cousin, Branson. Both babies love the outdoors. Olivia has gotten to a point that she knows when shoes are going on her feet-we are going outside. It's been a blessing to have such nice weather and so many nice parks close by. We will have to get really creative with activities once the weather starts to cool off! Disclaimer-no she cannot reach the peddles, but she likes to climb on the bike and be pushed around the yard. She's getting big but not that big yet!    M
Read more

12/28 DISCHARGE DAY!

Image
  I think I’m still in shock that we are actually in the car…driving Olivia home! Of course I’m not driving-I’m just snapping all the pictures.  This is a huge appreciation post to all the staff at the NICU, friends, family, strangers, coworkers…people who prayed for us, advocated with us, listened, cried,  and laughed with us, held our hands through the difficult times, and celebrated the wins.   As we were wheeling through the halls…back tracking the way Kevin and I came speeding up over four months ago…so many emotions. When we arrived…Olivia was given  60% survival chance.  The day she was born that percent had jumped to 80%.  And here we are today…a living breathing miracle and proof of the power of God. This is not the birth story I hoped for, or the first four months of motherhood I envisioned-but I would never ever take back what I’ve gained. We are so thankful for Olivia!  Thank you to everyone again for support and prayer, kind words and cards, meals…I can’t say thank you eno
Read more

8/23 Baby Girl's arrival

Image
 8:12 AM on Monday August 23 baby Olivia made her unexpected arrival into the world. She came into the world in a fury of fists and kicks and attempt at loud cries that surprised all the doctors being that she was only 24 weeks and 3 days gestation. Let me briefly begin with how we got here... August 19, Thursday, I started to notice very mild cramps midday. Being a first time momma I have my OB on speed dial. They scheduled an appointment for Friday and suggested I take it easy but continue to monitor everything. Nothing was intense or constant. No bleeding or abnormalities. I had been on my feet all day and very busy at work, I didn't think much of it either. I got home, pounded water, rested on the couch and everything subsided. The next morning while in the waiting room of the office my cramping came back out of no where. The midwife who evaluated me figured maybe I had an infection and had me prepped to check. Within minutes though, she had me get dressed and was preparing Kev
Read more