9/26 NICU Day 34

 I know I skipped a day yesterday. I do feel guilty. We were celebrating our anniversary and I typically type up my blog posts in the evenings. But last evening I was being treated to a nice dinner and with no real updates figured I’d wait until today.

Olivia’s heart rate elevated throughout the evening and night. The second dose of caffeine was stopped, which in turn lead to more episodes of apnea, Bradycardia, and desaturations. The doctor who was on this morning was the doctor who delivered Olivia. He hasn’t seen her for 33 days-boy was he amazed at how well she’s been doing! I was encouraged by his amazement and excitement at her progress.

He explained that the next two weeks or so one of the most important things is nutrition and growth. The brain and lungs are still developing and figuring out how to function independently from me (she would be doing a lot less if she were still in the womb essentially is what he was saying). So, while we will have some adjustments to the bubble CPAP, the oxygen, watching her episodes…we are encouraged by how much she has caught up in her growth. This is typical. He did change her caffeine dose again. This time taking the once a day amount and splitting it into two doses so there is less of a peak-hoping this will decrease the amount of times she holds her breath or doesn’t remember to breath (apnea) which can lead to the Brady and desat events. 

The doctor today reminded me of how far we’ve come. It’s incredible to think about and oddly gives me strength to remember all the emotions and difficult conversations I’ve endured since the start of Olivia’s journey here over a month ago. There are still times I feel frustrated, overwhelmed, scared…times that I wish we had the safety net of the high acuity doctors and nurses…and times I look at my sweet baby and am proud of her and overcome with love and joy. It’s certainly a roller of emotions. 

During our anniversary dinner Kevin and I talked about how this last year and a half has taught us so much. About not taking anything for granted and to be grateful for all that God has given us. And to be thankful and trust  Him even in times we face things we don’t understand. 

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